My Ukraine Journal Part V-The Physical Abuse

It was eye-opening to see how the orphans treated each other. In addition to the stealing, there was tremendous physical abuse. The kids would kick and hit each other as they ran up and down the hallway. The older kids certainly bullied the younger kids. Most discouraging was during our lessons. As we were teaching, many children would come and go because of interest (or lack of), eating times, or meetings with friends. As they moved through the room, they smacked each other in the head, punched and pushed. Words we could not understand were spoken sometimes, but many of these attacks seemed unprovoked. Also during our lessons, when the kids were disruptive, the older kids would try to quiet the disruptive ones. The intentions were good. However, their means were awful. They would quickly stand up, yell on the way to the disruptive kid, and then smack him a few times. It is amazing there are not major injuries at the orphanage.

My Ukraine Journal Part IV-The Relationships That Did

Toward the end of the week, some of the kids became permanently attached to us. The ons that we really developed relationships with began to trust us and love us, so they wanted our attention. This was extremely encouraging, but at the same time, discouraging. The encouragement came from seeing these kids happy. It came from the smiles on their faces. It came from their hugs. It came from hearing, "Dan," shouted from down the hallway or up the stairs, and then the fast footsteps as they ran to us. The encouragement also came from the trust these kids had in us. They did not have much hope in life. Many could not trust their parents. They could not trust many of the other orphans, as stealing runs wild through the orphanage. For many of the children, we were the only people they could trust. Seeing that develop in such a short time was very encouraging.
The discouragement came from knowing that we were only there for a few days. After that, we too would leave them, and with us the hope, happiness and trust. It is heartbreaking to think of these children not smiling much in just a few days. They'll be back to survival mode, and they won't have those bright spots anymore.

Pictures

Here are most of the pictures I took...some with captions to give a few of the details.

http://picasaweb.google.com/dcourtine

My Ukraine Journal Part III-The Impossible Relationships

It was not uncommon as we were greeting the kids to suddenly be hit in the back, tackled or jumped on. As more and more kids came, we could not move. They were like bees on honey. Although we were there for all the kids, this was difficult to handle. There were a few kids that we really connected to for various reasons. We wanted to learn as much as possible about them so we would know how we could best deal with them in the future. But, there is no such thing as alone time in an orphanage. We could not get that child away to talk as much as we had hoped. Luckily, we did have one solution to the lack of one-on-one time. Each night, each team member invited one child to go to dinner with us. This was a chance to give the kids a good meal, and a full meal. It was a chance to really talk and learn about the child. It was also a treat to watch these children eat. None of the kids knew how to use a knife, so we tried, usually unsuccessfully, to teach them, befor cutting the chicken for them in the end. The kids each ate ice cream, and that was fun to watch. They don't ever get that treat, so it was a special moment when they ate it. Talking with the kids was really interesting and important. We learned about their family and their interests, and many bonds were formed through these meals. I will write about my guests in a later post.

My Ukraine Journal Part II-Love the Attention

These kids love attention. That is not a surprise at all. They don't get much. It was so neat to see thm appear one at a time each day, and then all of a sudden mob us. Somehow, word spread very quickly at the orphanage. One kid saw us and somehow got word out to the others. They would quickly appear in groups and then mass numbers. Each member of our team was attacked by the kids that we had begun really developing relationships with. Then there were others who wanted to talk with each of us. Some wanted attention. Some wanted to practice (show off) their English skills (hello, how are you?), and some wanted to make fun of us and our lack of ability in using the Russian language. I am pretty certain that we were called some names and cursed at this week. I am also pretty certain that I cursed a few times. I tried so hard to learn as much Russian as possible this week. When they said words to me, I would do my best to repeat them. I figured I had been suckered when they began to laugh hysterically and high five their friends after my attempt to speak Russian. Oops.

Coming Next: My Ukraine Journal Part III-The Impossible Relationships

My Ukraine Journal Part I-Joyful Kids

As we were spending a day on a plane to return to America, I began writing down my thoughts about the trip. Here is the first part of my journal...

Our trip to the Ukraine was a very interesting experience, and will hopefully be a huge learning experience. I love many of the orphans as much as I love many of my students. I am glad that my heart continues to have the ability to love kids so much. I wish I could transfer that ability to adults also, and not become so frustrated on a daily basis.
As Megan (a lady in my former small group) described with her trip to Haiti also, it is amazing to see how joyful and kind these kids are, despite living the life they do. They almost always had a smile on their faces. I would joke with them and try to take their food. They looked at me, thought I was serious, and then would push their food over to me. I would not take it of course, but just the thought that they would give it is so heartwarming. They were so appreciative of life and of us, that they had to thank us. Offering their food was one of the few ways they could do that. One other way they tried to thank us was by giving us candy. We had brought a lot of candy to give to them. But, somehow they had their own. In order to show their appreciation of us, they would offer it to us. When we told them, "No, thank you, " they insisted. We said, "No, thank you," again, but they insisted. I hated taking candy from them, but I hated to refuse their gift even more. It wasn't about the candy. It was about the relationship we had built, and their desire to thank us for coming to visit them. How special it is that these kids have so little, but they are willing to give us a small piece of candy that they would love to eat, in order to show us that they appreciate us. I hope that I can be that caring and giving, and show my appreciation better on a daily basis.

My Ukraine Journal Part II-Love the Attention

Coming soon.

Why the kids are in the Orphanage

The kids we met are in the orphanage for many reasons, which you can probably guess. Their parents are either deceased, in prison, walked out, abused them, or alcoholic. We met them all. The government takes many kids out of their homes and puts them in the orphanage. It's good for the kids to get out of the situation they're in, but it's bad because the new situation is terrible as well.

Jenya is in the orphanage because her mother beat her. This is very confusing for a few reasons. First, she has a few younger sisters who are still home with mom. Why haven't they been taken away? Why was Jenya the only one beaten? We don't know. Jenya is an absolute doll. She has a tremendous spirit and personality. She was talkative and loving. She was constantly giggling. The whole week showed us absolutely nothing but just an amazingly sweet little girl. How could someone beat her?

Oleg doesn't know his father. His mother is extremely ill, and probably will pass soon. Oleg thinks of mom often, and misses her. After we talked about her mom, he was very saddened, and spent a majority of the dinner thinking to himself about her. I asked him if he had a picture of his mom. He said, "No." I asked our Ukranian leader if it was possible to get him a picture of his mom, and she said, "No." I don't understand this. Is it that we CAN not get a picture, or that we WILL not get a picture. I don't understand how Oleg's mother can be alive, and no one can drive or walk over to get a picture for this boy. Ridiculous. It is heartbreaking to see him just sit there thinking about his mom.

Each kid has a story. We were able to learn a few of them, and each story should make us appreciate the family that we have. I am so thankful that I have parents and sisters I can call, whether to talk, or to get advice and support. I am so thankful for my wife, who I get to hug every day, see across the room, and who tells me every day that she loves me. I wish these kids could have that person.

Photography

In case you haven't heard, we've started a photography business. Any of you in the Raleigh area who know someone needing pictures...feel free to pass our names along.

http://www.dancophotography.com

The Ukraine

There is so much to say about the Ukraine, but we just cannot do it yet. We have to recover, get organized, and process everything. We will post stories and memories as time permits. Most likely, they will come in pieces. So, if you're interested, keep checking back. They're coming. And don't assume that nothing new is coming...there's a lot to tell over time.

We spent our time at the Jonkoi Orphanage in the town of Dzhankoy. Find the Black Sea on the map. The Crimea is the peninsula on the north part. We flew into Simferopol which is at the bottom of the peninsula, and then drove up to Dzhankoy located at the top of the peninsula, before you get to the mainland part of the Ukraine.

For now, I'll post these photos of the orphanage



and this photo of my friend Artyom.





He lost his mother at three and doesn't know dad. He and his brother are both at Jonkoi Orphanage, but both have a great spirit. Artyom and I became very close this week, and we will write to each other to keep in touch. He apparently is a troublemaker, but I saw a really nice boy who wanted my attention. I loved getting to know him a bit and seeing his smile each day. I purchased Artyom a sweater and some new shoes while we were there so he can stay warm and be comfortable. He wrote me a really nice letter thanking me for everything. It was nice to see that he had some hope.


Unedited and unorganized photos: http://picasaweb.google.com/dcourtine

The Blog

Hello all. Welcome to the Courtine Family Blog. Many people have blogs these days, and since Erica and I are always trying to be in the cool crowd, we figured we would join them. So, here we go. We hope you will enjoy reading about our lives.